Unmotivated And Kind Of Depressed

Whether you are female, male, working too much, not working enough, broke, have all the money you could ever need, Christian, or not Christian, depression, stress, and overwhelm are all hard. Life is so hard sometimes, no matter who you are.

Lately, my hormones have been a bit difficult to put a handle on. I'm going through my second pregnancy while also being home with my almost three-year-old son 24/7. Some of you know what that life is like. Not easy! Along with this, I'm about to start my part-time job back up next week until baby girl comes. My son goes with me to that job as well. As grateful and at peace with this life as I am, I am still struggling. During my first pregnancy, I experienced a lot of hardship physically - feeling nauseated and throwing up throughout almost the entire nine-ish months (amongst other symptoms that weren't as bad but still annoying). This pregnancy, I have had it easy up until this last week as far as physical symptoms go, but my mental health is an entirely new experience. I'm consistently unmotivated, struggling to have any desire to get up and do much on some days. I get overwhelmed and stressed more easily. I don’t sleep well in general, but it’s been way worse lately. And.. as you probably are aware, when overly tired, dealing with other humans is one of the most difficult things to do - especially when they are only three or younger and don’t understand what it mean to leave someone alone for five minutes to gather their cool!

Now, since you know all of that, let’s talk about the results of everything mentioned above. I touched on it a bit, but because of all of the things going on with me physically and mentally, motivation and happiness are not the first things that come to the surface of my heart and mind. When I got pregnant, it was as if I became a completely different person. I texted a group of women from my church awhile ago, asking them to pray for me and the day ahead since I was struggling with my emotions and self-control. This was new to me. I am a very relaxed person, especially as a mom, but not as much the last few months. I remember telling these women about how my irrational thoughts, and emotions were something I’d never experienced before and I wasn’t able to be the best mom or even just a decent one because of how hard it was to have self-control with the words coming out of my mouth. One of the women in the group messaged back the perfect message describing how this felt. She said, “That happened to me as well and it was very challenging. It’s like somebody else was taking over my mouth and speaking! I’m praying that you’ll feel the presence and comfort of the Lord!” How true that statement was!

Now, even though I’m aware that many of you are not females or pregnant, we can all relate to some degree on struggling with self-control, motivation, and expressing the joy inside of us. Why? Because life is not easy. We are humans. That’s that. But I want to share two things that God has been showing me lately in the midst of this hard time I’ve been going through. Even though I’m struggling with motivation and happiness/expressing the peace I have within, God is still with me, pursuing me. Not only is He pursuing me (and how comforting is that in my time of need), but I too should still be pursuing Him. When I don’t have the motivation, I need to have the self-discipline to show up anyway, prioritize hanging out with Him every day, and over time, that consistency will pay off. This season won’t last forever, but God will. Looking back on this time, one day I will say, “wow! If I had not stayed consistent, showing up, I wouldn’t have seen all of the fruit God produced in my life during that hard pregnancy”. Staying consistent now will help me to stay consistent in the future. I will be stronger and be able to endure more if I’m consistent now. If I put off God now and say, “oh, God understands that I’m going through a hard time. I’ll get to Him later” then I more than likely won’t “get to Him later”. Consistency is ESSENTIAL to our growth and to the upbringing of God’s kingdom. Consistency is what will bring us out of this pit of depression and unmotivated mentality.

Consistency is not possible without self-discipline.

Self-discipline is not possible without God’s strength.

Using God’s strength is not possible without asking Him for it.

Asking God for His strength is not possible without first talking to Him.

We have to talk to Him, listen to Him, and rely on Him. That’s how we will get out of these hard times. It’s not easy, but God never said it would be.

The second thing He has been showing me is community is necessary. God created us to need community. In Genesis, God said man was not good until He created woman to be with Him. This is a sign that from the beginning of time, people need people. You need people. I need people. Godly community will help us through these hard times. God uses these people to correct when necessary, encourage all the time, and love us no matter what we are going through. Many of us have had some damage done by community, but remember that that isn’t God. That is human being human. You still need community. Prayerfully find that community if you haven’t already. Share your struggles with them, and they will pray with and for you, hug you, hang out with you, cry with you, and laugh with you. You need community in these hard times.

I hope this is encouraging for you. Know that you are not alone. We all go through stuff.

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