Loving Myself - God's Way

In a world where the term "self-love" is everywhere, there are people who continue to search for true love. We can't seem to find it. We look to money, popularity, acceptance, compliments, titles, and affection.. but where's the love? People chase thing after thing - desire after desire - in search of a feeling whole and complete, but it's nowhere to be found. As a result, we have come to the conclusion that no one can love us like we can love ourselves. "If I put myself first, I'll be happy." "I can't love anyone else until I love myself," "I know me better that anyone else knows me. Therefore, I know how to care for my mind and body better than others would know." "I am the main character." You know, a couple of these statements sound a bit logical, right? Well, spoiler alert.. they are all wrong. We disappoint ourselves, betray ourselves, lead ourselves into depression, anxiety, anger, and self-destruction every day when we do it this way. The world's way leads to loneliness. When we put ourselves first and always think of "me me me" (I deserve this, I deserve that), there's still a hole inside of us that needs to be filled. Every single one of us on this earth desires to be loved, not by ourself, but by someone else. It's exhausting trying to love myself perfectly all the time. I get burnt out and tired of trying. We desire to be loved by someone else perfectly, but no person can do that for us because humans struggle. Humans aren't perfect.

All that being said, self-love is not necessarily bad at its core. In fact, we need to see how amazing we are in order to fully experience that desired, needed, and unconditional love from someone else. Let me explain. As I said before, no human can love us and treat us the way we need to be loved and treated because of their human nature. No human is perfect. Therefore, no human can perfectly love because by nature, they don't know how to love perfectly. God is perfect. He has never failed (Hebrews 13:5). By nature, God cannot love anyone imperfectly. Let's think about ourselves for a minute, and later, we will loop back around to this knowledge of God loving perfectly.

Let's take a moment to learn a few facts about ourselves according to God. For a moment, when reading these, think about only you. Not a people group as a whole, but you. It's not selfish to think of yourself this time.

If you're anything like me, you'll appreciate a bullet point list because it's straight to the point.. so here we go.

All about YOU:

1. You are the only creation that God made to look like Him. Body, Soul, and Spirit. Genesis 1:26-27

2. You are someone's masterpiece.. not just anyone's masterpiece, but The Creator of the universe's masterpiece. The Encore of the entire show. Ephesians 2:10

3. I am fully known and loved no matter what I say and think and do. I am loved unconditionally. Psalm 139:1-4

4. God created me with a purpose in mind. I am important to Him. Romans 8:28

5. We are worth dieing for. Romans 5:8

6. God wants a relationship with me. He wants to talk to me and me to talk to Him. He is pursuing me because I am His Creation and He loves me. Revelation 3:20 James 4:8 Ezekiel 37:27 1 John 1:1-10 John 1:14 (it took Him dwelling with us to have the impact of salvation that He had. One relationship at a time while He was here.) Ephesians 5:1 Micah 6:8 Isaiah 41:13

7. God wants to spend eternity with me. John 3:16-17

Wow. Write those down and read them often. Write the verses down too and read those even more often.

Okay, let's continue.

If you were to look up every reference I gave above, which I hope you did or do, you would see one common thing. God. In each passage, God is there. Not only is He there, but you are there too. The roles that each plays is different though. God is the giver of love, salvation, and life in each passage. You are the receiver of love, salvation, and life. Let that sink in. God is the giver. You are the receiver. Listen. Who else in this world can give you love like that? Who else in this world can give you salvation from depression, anxiety, loneliness, and anger? Who else in this world can give you life? Life in the sense of two things: literally breathe life into you and also give you a sense of feeling alive and at peace on a regular basis. Who can do that? No one but God. Because He is perfect and can perfectly do those things for you. You can't even do that for yourself.

Now, how can seeing your worth and loving yourself (because of the list of things I gave above) be selfless? Here's how. Loving yourself is loving God's masterpiece which ultimately glorifies Him. Your main purpose in this life is to glorify God. When you glorify God, others will come to know Him and experience the same type of peace and love that you experience from God. The closer you grow to Him, the more you learn about yourself and grow to love the person He created you to be. This isn't the only way to glorify God, but it is one, and in my opinion, it's one of the biggest ways to to do so.. when you do it according to His ideology and not your own or the world's.

DISCLAIMER: This DOES NOT MEAN that your goal in life should be self-love. The intentions of that would be selfish. This means that your goal in life is to love and glorify God. One of the biggest ways to do that is to see who you are according to God and walk in that on a daily basis.

How do you love yourself God's way?

Spend time with Him.

When you spend time with God (talking to Him and listening to Him), you learn more about the nature, desires, and attributes of your Creator. Every artist has his own style, right? They have their signature, themes, and tendencies. When you learn these things about God, you learn more about yourself and the beauty of God within you. His beauty is what radiates within you.

Obey Him.

Disobedience to God puts distance between you and Him. Because He is your Creator, He knows what's best for you and for you to fulfill your purpose. Because you are His masterpiece, He loves you more than any other of His creations.. more than the birds, trees, flowers, and animals. He wouldn't tell you to do something that was meant to harm you. He loves you too much for that. Now, this doesn't mean He will never tell you to do something that leads to negative impact. Obedience to God is hard. He asks us to do hard things, but none of the tasks He gives you will harm you eternally. The suffering you go through here will only last for a short time, but God's love endures forever (1 Peter 5:10, Psalm 136). In the midst of your suffering, God will be with you and can give you peace no matter the trial. In the midst of your suffering, seeds will be planted and souls will be saved. There's a reason He allows what He allows. It's all coming from love.

Take care of yourself.

If you know something is harmful to the mind, body, and heart that God gave you, then don't do it. This could be as black and white as smoking or doing drugs, or it could be something kind of hard to see like gossiping, setting boundaries, talking down to yourself, or allowing anger to seep into your heart over the smallest of things. All of the things I just mentioned are harmful to you and self-destructive. God gave you every part of you to glorify Him. You need to take care of yourself. This includes, mental, emotional, and spiritual health (ex. prayer journaling, reading the Bible, getting fresh air, hanging out with healthy friends, seeking wise counsel/mentorship, forgiving others) and physical health (look at what science has shown us about our God-given needs physically: good sleep, walking (exercise/movement regularly), water, good food). Take care of yourself so that He may be glorified. As a result, you experience peace and joy. This is not the primary goal, but this is the benefit.

Self-love isn't selfish at it's core. Whether it's selfish or selfless stems from the intentions behind the self-love and who you look to for counsel on the how you do it.

Self-love is important and needed, but remember to always align your view of yourself with what God says. Love yourself so that HE is glorified - not you. This is what gives you the wholeness you so desperately desire.

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