My Lack Of Peace Was Causing My Lack Of Self-Discipline

At times, resetting can be extremely intimidating, and oftentimes, it may feel impossible. No matter the situation, resetting is always successful with one thing - self-discipline. But self-discipline is not easy. For me, self-discipline has been the hardest thing to have these past couple of months. It seemed nearly impossible for me to actually do things that needed to be done.

I recently had my second child, Laikan. She's beautiful - the best. We love her to pieces. My oldest is a three-year-old boy. I am currently seven weeks postpartum, and there are a lot of challenges that come with going from one kid to two.. especially when your oldest is a "bit" high maintenance. Haha! As the days have gone by, I have mostly been in survival mode - going through the motions just trying to spend as much quality time with my oldest as I can while also giving my new little one the attention and love she needs. As I try to navigate all of this, I am apparently supposed to be prioritizing myself, along with making sure the kids are fed and at least somewhat clean. Oh! I also have a husband. Oops. So now add "wife" to the list.

Even though I'm saying all of this in somewhat of a joking tone, I am serious when I say that it's hard. It's a lot.

Now, whether or not you are in the same boat as I am, we've all faced a time in our lives where we need a reset, but resets can be hard. At times, the thought of starting over in any way seems overwhelming and impossible. Well, I'm here to share with you a few things God has revealed to me during this time.

Not all situations are like mine, obviously, but in my current phase of life, the reason it is incredibly difficult for me to "reset" and start figuring out the rhythm of my growing family is that I have a lack of peace. Now, I'm not talking about a lack of security. I have the peace that comes from my security in Christ. Thank God! I'm talking about the extension of that peace we should be obtaining through daily hangout sessions with God. The peace that "surpasses all understanding". The peace that keeps me calm when I have a tantrum-throwing kid, a screaming, hungry baby, and dinner on the stove that needs attention.

Think of your most overwhelming, frustrating, or stressful moments, days, or relationships. Don't you want peace throughout all of that? That's the peace I'm talking about. I didn't have that peace anymore. Sure, I was spending time with God, but not quality time as often as I needed it. Over time, that caught up to me, and there I was trying to get a hold of any peace I could find.

Let's get back to the main point of this. Here are the things God has shown me.

• Give yourself some grace. We are humans. Life is hard. Sometimes, we just need to sit in the chaos, frustration, stress and simply recognize it for what it is. Then, just sit there for a bit. Look for God. Life isn't perfect and neither are you. Because of the imperfection, we struggle sometimes. Give yourself some grace.

• If you want peace in all moments, open your Bible. If you can't get quality time in because of how hectic your life is, then simply read it often. How? Leave your Bible out, take it with you to places, pick which book you're going through, and have the page that you left off on marked. Be intentional and have the self-discipline to simply open that Bible every now and then throughout your day and read it. Read a few verses, read a whole chapter, or simply read one verse if that's all you can do. Don't just read it, though, pay attention to what you're reading and think about it.

• Prayer Journal. Keeping a prayer journal helps me fully think through my thoughts. It's not simply a journal entry that is written to no one on a random piece of paper. It's me talking to God but writing it down so that I can actually get everything off my mind. If you're not into journaling, I understand. I was not into journaling before.. at all. I still am not into writing long form for anything, but journaling has changed my life. If you don't journal, or if you don't have time to do so one day or for several days, that's totally fine! I don't always have time to either. Simply talking to God is the key here. Talk to him throughout the day. If you are someone who is starting fresh with prayer and just simply forgets to pray, I hear you. Here's a piece of advice for you. Try attaching a time of prayer to something you already are doing. Choose one thing that you know you're going to be doing often throughout your week, and attach prayer to that thing. For example, if you drive to work every day and drive back home every day for five to six days a week, pray for at least a few minutes or a couple of minutes while you're driving to and from work. Make driving your reminder to pray. Maybe put a sticky note on your steering wheel that says "pray". Take a piece of paper, write "pray" on it, punch a hole in it, and put it on your key ring. That way, you see it every time you grab your keys to go off somewhere. What do you pray about? Anything and everything. If you looked at my notebook full of prayers, most of them would not make sense or may not even be legible. The whole point is to vomit your thoughts and heart to God. Other people have really beautiful prayer journals. You can read every word of them. They are decorated. And that's great! If that's what you need and want and it draws you closer to God, then please do that. If you're not like that, and you're like me, then just write it out however you want. No matter how it looks. It's not meant for others to see. It's meant for you to share your heart with God. It's the same concept as when you are praying in your car on the way to work. Start talking. You don't have to say "Dear Heavenly Father". You don't have to say "God". He knows you're talking to Him. Just start talking. That's all He wants, and that's all we need. This will bring you an immeasurable amount of peace throughout your day.

• Get fresh air. This is essential for my mental and emotional health right now. It always has been, but right now it is my saving grace some days. Get fresh air. God gave us the beautiful outdoors for a reason. For a lot of reasons. One of them is that it is essential to our overall health. We need it! So get outside, even if it's just for a short bit. Put your phone away, and simply be. Everyday.

• The last thing I want to say is that God has reminded me over and over again these past few years but especially these past almost two months, that I don't need to listen to anything more than I listen to Him. Put your phone down. Turn your video games off. Turn your shows off. I'm not saying never look at your phone, never watch TV, and never play a video game again. All I'm saying is that we don't need to be picking up our phone every few minutes. We need to be living in the present because God gave us the present. If we waste this present time away, we will eventually be looking back and saying "wow, I didn't live." Don't be that person. When you do that, you are not leaving space for peace. You're not leaving space for what God wants to show you and for what he wants to say to you. Because you're filling up your mind with other things. You're not filling up your mind with things of God. You are distracted from God when you are consumed by those things. So all I'm saying is be mindful at how often you pick up your phone, watch tv, and play games. Look into and set some practical habits for you to do better with your screen time. Many of you have all seen this probably, but there is a picture that's going around the internet and has been for a while that says "phones have become the new smoking". Honestly, I agree. It's addictive because it's supposed to be. Do your best to get away from that addiction. Rely on God to help you through that.

These are the things that God has been showing me the past two months or reminding me of as I've been trying to obtain that peace I longed for and missed. As soon as I started prioritizing God first and doing these things again and more intentionally, my self-discipline was almost immediately better. I started doing more around the house. I started catching up on responsibilities that I had been putting off. I still don't do the best. I still put things off at times, but I'm doing much better. I'm doing better because I started prioritizing the One who makes me better. He is the reason that I have worth. He created me to do so much more than I have been. When you have peace, you regularly see your purpose in life. When you see your purpose in life, you see the importance of not putting off your responsibilities. When you don't put off your responsibilities, over time, you will look back and see how much God has done through you and for you and to you. Life-changing things. God-sized things.

Don't let your lack of self-discipline happen because of your lack of peace. Find that peace. Practice peace. Do the hard things.

If you have not yet become a member and started reading the monthly challenge letters, what in the world are you doing!? Become a member and start challenging yourself to grow closer to God this year. It's never too late to start.